Saturday night reflection....or just go ahead and call me lame and lonely

Here I am on a Saturday night...sitting alone...again...bored off my ass.  So why not blog about my lame single life and think of ways to fix it? I think I'm a cool girl and a hell of a good time...so what is the problem?!? I struggle to meet men. I have had time to reflect and this is what I have come up with:

me with Adam..my BFF

1. I'm cock blocked.  When I do go out, I go out with my best guy friend that I've known since third grade and everyone thinks we are dating so I am definitely unapproachable.  Even though he is dating..I find it impossible for me to.  I have even joked about making homemade shirts for us when we go out that say "not together" or "single and ready to mingle"  something clever.  Actually, that's not a bad idea.
2.  I don't have single girlfriends to go out with.   The only girl friends that I did have here have moved.  I have two co-workers (yes small dental office) and they both have children and are doing their own thing.  It's hard to make new friends at my age I have found, especially living in an area where you don't really know anyone.
3. I don't go places by myself.  Granted, I'll go grocery shopping or to the mall or something..but I have never been hit on by doing those things. So all that talk saying "maybe you will run into the one at the grocery store" is bullshit.  Nobody is going to come up to me and start conversation about what percentage of milk I think they should buy and then proceed to ask me out.  I had a talk with a good friend the other night how doing things by myself like going to a movie, eating at a restaurant, sitting at a bar by myself..etc. might help me to meet people.  No thank you.  That's not me.  I can't find myself walking into a restaurant and saying "table for one"  no.  I enjoy company.  And even if I did have the courage to do that..I would just bury myself into my phone anyways to make it look like I'm waiting for someone.  #unapproachable.  Not for me.
4. I'm picky.  I'm so picky.  I guess that is a good thing in a way..and it definitely means I won't settle.  But really I need to knock off the "no thanks, he has blonde hair"  kind of thinking.  Yes you must have a job, and a car, and a personality, and a nice smile, and good teeth, and like sports....okay we will stop there.  You get the point.

Seriously, take me now.

5.  I'm waiting on Christian Grey to come and tie me up and be obsessed with me.  Or Channing Tatum to show up and grind on my lap. With Fifty Shades of Grey and God's gift to all women by just creating Channing Tatum...women have high expectations these days. I now have these fantasies in my mind.  I mean who doesn't want a young hot billionaire full of passion, dominance, and obsessive love? Or a man who can get you to do anything he wants just by how amazing he dances and the way he moves those hips. Let's not forget..he's the hottest thing ever, and he's originally from Tampa.  Thank you E L James and Magic Mike. I hope men all around the world are stepping their game up.  



So how am I going to meet someone? My friends have tossed around the idea of online dating.  The thought makes me cringe.  Honestly.  I have fears of online serial killers or finding a profile I like then showing up to meet him just to find out he's a 55 year old obese man.  It all just scares the shit out of me.  But then again, I'm not getting any younger..and I am not dating! I don't even know how to date honestly.  But I do want to meet someone.  I want someone to spend time with, laugh with, travel with, and someone to occupy my lonely Saturday nights.  Now I'm just sounding lonely and pathetic.  But I think I'm going to do it..I think I will give it a one month trial just to see how it goes.  Give myself the opportunity to meet someone, or at least try.  It would be nice to have options.  
I think I'll pour myself a glass of wine and create a profile.  It sounds much more sophisticated then saying I'm going to shotgun a beer and create a profile.  Although, that's not a bad idea either. Maybe I'll just do both.  I'm going to need liquid courage to go through with this anyways.  
So I will keep you updated.  Fingers crossed.  And lets hope I don't become a dateline story about "online dating gone wrong."  Yes, getting that thought out of my mind now.


On another note...my 10 year class reunion is next month.  TEN YEARS! Holy shit, where has the time gone?  If you would have asked me ten years ago where I would be now my answer was "married to Andy, with children, living in Iowa."  This is when we thank God for unanswered prayers.  I definitely didn't picture my life anywhere close to where it is now.  But that is life. Crazy, unexpected, throws you curve balls.  And I wouldn't be who I am today without all my experiences.  So all I can do is sit back and try ride out this crazy journey.  Maybe Mr Right is out there sitting on his computer too.  Who the hell knows.  But, I don't know unless I try.  
But for now...I will sit here and make the best of my night, with a little takeout for one.